I thought I knew what it felt like to be bullied

I thought I was in a safe environment. A group on facebook where people from around the world gathered to exchange information and tips on a range of topics. I understood it to be a forum where I could ask questions and people would offer solutions and support without judgement.

When a subject I was interested in was posted, I joined the conversation. Being in a different time zone, most of the others were sleeping then, so I didn't check the forum again until the next day.

A lot happened on the other side of the globe during the night, and I woke to find I was the subject of abuse and condemnation. As I read the responses, I was shocked that such an innocent question had triggered angry and targeted outbursts by a few of the women.

I'd like to say that it didn't affect me. As an adult I should have been able to brush it off, but how could I when the insults had followed me to my community page on facebook too!

I felt embarrassed, hurt and physically ill. Being new to the group, I was sure my reputation was in tatters before it was even established.

Stunned, miserable and completely deflated, my entire agenda for the day had gone out the window. I struggled to get a handle on my emotions and understand what had happened. I didn't think I'd said anything that should have triggered such a public attack! 

My first reaction was to leave the group, but there was a part of me that felt that wasn’t the answer.

I felt like a victim as the reality of my first cyberbullying experience started to sink in. Then it occurred to me that these women must have been victims too.

Drawing on the work I do with school children, I thought about the bullies whose hearts I help to soften by teaching them how to be kind.

I thought about the way most people respond to bullies with anger and hatred. There's usually no consideration or empathy for the hardships a bully has endured. Few are able to imagine what someone's may have been through to become so bitter and angry that they want to belittle others.

When I applied this to these women, I felt a softening and wondered what they had been through to respond that way.

The whole experience got me thinking about other victims of bullying. Many children and adult endure much worse than I had, relentlessly tormented every day.

In days gone by, it was bullying in the schoolyard that kids could shut the door on when they went home. What makes it worse now is that bullying is now longer confined and it's claiming lives!

Modern bullying is in your face! The advent of the internet and mobile phones means bullies are everywhere. With you in your pocket, your home and your bedroom... there's just no escape!

Too many children have become statistics. Often unsupported because they're uncomfortable talking about it. Sometimes they're ashamed or feel that they'll disappoint their parents if they tell. My own son begged me not to tell the teachers about a time when he was being bullied because he feared it would get worse!

It makes me feel sick knowing this is a reality for so many kids and their families. How do they cope, go to school and where's the joy in their life if that's what they've got to deal with every day?

When I looked up the latest statistics on cyberbullying, I was horrified to find that McAfee reported an increase.

"Despite significant efforts to discourage cyberbullying and its negative effects, the number of occurrences continues to grow with 87% of youth having witnessed cyberbullying.

Of those who responded they were cyberbullied, 72% responded it was due to appearance while 26% answered due to race or religion and 22% stated their sexuality was the driving factor.

Of those who witnessed cyberbullying, 53% responded the victims became defensive or angry, while 47% said the victims deleted their social media accounts, underscoring its significant emotional impact.

While the study reveals cyberbullying continues to represent a serious problem for youth, the 2014 survey found 24% of youth would not know what to do if they were harassed or bullied online."

My own experience and the horrifying data makes me fear for the future and how many more innocent lives will be damaged or destroyed! It makes me more determined than ever to do my part in changing the way kids interact. It's gone on long enough and I don't know how we expect things to change if we don't change the way we approach the issue. www.soscoupons.com 

We're not going to stop bullying overnight, we need an ongoing, long term plan.

As past approaches seem to be falling short, we have to change the way we tackle bullying. I'm convinced that we have to confront it with its psychological opposite - kindness. It's far more effective to teach children the positive behaviour that will help them understand what it means to be a good friend.

In-school character education and kindness programs address bullying in a positive way. They also equip students with the social and emotional skills they'll need all their lives. 

Kids are suffering and sometimes being pushed to breaking point! It makes me sad and angry to think we really haven't come very far in this war against bullying, even after investing so much time and money. It's time to stop talking about bullying and start teaching kindness!

Watching my daughter transform with Candor!

My daughter has been studying in Candor International for two years and we have seen her change, from being a withdrawn girl to a more confident one. It makes me so happy as a father as she wasn’t always so confident and struggled with major issues from the time she turned eight.  She was always a quiet and shy child but was good in studies and though she took long to make friends, when she did she cherished her friends and was so generous with them.  We were living in Chennai then and she was studying in a pretty famous school. Her primary years in school seemed okay, but once she went to middle school she started to change. She became withdrawn and sullen. She stopped eating and there were days when she refused to go to school. We tried talking to her and cajoling her to tell us what had happened, but she just kept silent.

The school organised a picnic in October and that day my daughter threw her first real tantrum. She refused to go and started bawling. This time we refused to let up.  We pestered and pestered her till she broke down and told us that one of her classmates was bullying her. This girl would go on pulling her hair, hiding her books, hitting her hard on her back and making fun of her along with the other classmates. We went to school the next day and spoke to the teacher who actually tried to dismiss it as all part of growing up. We went straight to the principal who thankfully took the matter more seriously. The bullying stopped but the damage had been done. Our sweet and shy daughter just became withdrawn.

When we moved to Bangalore two years back, we put her in Candor International. It was a new school but we liked the look of it. I shared my daughter’s experience with a teacher recently and was so surprised to hear that a few weeks later Candor International organised a special assembly that dealt with bullying. As parents, we were so happy that the school was taking this matter so seriously. They keep having sessions on different topics and we’ve seen our daughter transform back into the shy but effervescent little girl she is. Candor is a proactive school that really wants children to shine. We are happy our daughter is in such a good school.

The War on Teachers

The stats leave no doubt. There is huge dissatisfaction among teachers. The turnover rate is very high. We need to answer the obvious question, why don’t principals and administrators take better care of their teachers? 

The most recent MetLife Survey revealed: “Teacher Dissatisfaction At An All-Time High.” The NEA Today website continues: “Teacher job satisfaction has plummeted to its lowest level in 25 years, from 62 percent in 2008 to 39 percent in 2012 –- a total of 23 points…More than one-half of teachers report feeling under great stress several days per week, as opposed to one-third in 1985.”

Forbes.com reported: “High Teacher Turnover Rates are a Big Problem for America’s Public Schools….46% of all new teachers in the United States leave the profession within five years…Teachers cite lack of planning time, workload, and lack of influence over school policy among other reasons for their decision to leave…”

Edutopia sums up the situation this way: “Every year, U.S. schools hire more than 200,000 new teachers for that first day of class. By the time summer rolls around, at least 22,000 have quit.” 

Interestingly, less than 20% of teachers cite salary as their primary complaint. About 70% say the big problem is workplace conditions.

This Edutopia story, written by a failed teacher, concludes: “Many of these reasons are just euphemisms for one of the profession's hardest realities: Teaching can exact a considerable emotional toll. I don't know of any other professionals who have to break up fistfights, as I did…. New teachers, however naive and idealistic, often know before they enter the profession that the salaries are paltry, the class sizes large, and the supplies scant. What they don't know is how little support from parents, school administrators, and colleagues they can expect once the door is closed and the textbooks are opened.”

Let’s consider all this bad news from the point of view of the teacher. You might be only 27 or 28 years old. You’ve dreamed about being a teacher for as long as you can remember. You wanted to make a difference in the world. You thought you could help your kids to build a better life. But now you feel you have to walk away from all that. it’s been a horrible experience and you’re pretty sure you can never go back. Just as bad, you borrowed a lot of money and you still have a huge debt to pay. Dreams and money, all gone.

Now let’s consider this situation from the point of view of the Education Establishment. By losing all these burned-out teachers, they have room for a whole new set of starry-eyed rookies who’ll need classrooms, books, and lots of instruction. Thousands of professors will earn a good living making sure these newcomers have the credentials to be sent into the trenches. What if the public schools filled up with experienced, long-time teachers? That could be the end of the gravy train. Point is, the people at the top don’t have a lot of incentive to protect their teachers. Maybe that’s part of the reason they don’t.

Let’s face it, the common denominator in all K-12 education is that teachers are pushed around or left to fend for themselves. The paradigm story is where a teacher has trouble with students, the teacher goes to the principal for help, and the principal grandly declares: you’re a professional, it’s your classroom, take care of it.

There are many separate assaults: constant interruptions; loudspeakers making announcements; students drifting in and out; many unnecessary meetings and so-called professional development (PD); and a general tolerance of disorder and violence. Teachers can’t feel safe. They can’t do much teaching.

It almost seems as if the school system is cunningly designed to make sure only the toughest, most desperate people can survive. Sensitive, highly intelligent teachers would probably be the first to crack. There really does seem to be a war against teachers. Does it have to be this way?

Suppose, first of all, that schools of education prepared teachers at a higher level. (According to Rita Kramer’s book “Ed School Follies,” the training is actually very sketchy.) Then suppose that principals aggressively supported their teachers, and made clear to students that there will be no disrespect shown. Suppose the administrators got a bonus when teachers survived past a third or fourth year. Suppose that was a clearly announced social contract between the school and the community: children are expected to behave, or they will be punished appropriately.

Unfortunately, many teachers think they’re being pushed around by parents, the community, or commentators like me. The teachers seem to identify with the Education Establishment. Isn’t this an example of the Stockholm Syndrome? Teachers actually think they are in the trenches with the Education Establishment. No, teachers are alone in the trenches. I think there are three sets of victims in K-12 education: students, parents, and teachers. The situation can’t be improved until teachers have a clearer view of their reality. They are cannon fodder; they are expendables.

Finally, we’re forced to consider the idea that the indifference to teachers is part of a war on education generally. It’s part of the whole deliberate dumbing-down of America that Charlotte Iserbyt described in her book by that name. 

Undercutting teachers and rendering them ineffective will obviously produce the miserable results that the Education Establishment, in Iserbyt's view, deliberately seeks.

To put that over another way, the last thing the Education Establishment would want is a stable corps of highly professional, experienced teachers. So, by hook and by crook, our education commissars give future teachers inadequate training, and then set them loose in a blackboard jungle. Cold, very cold.

You will know that our Education Establishment is serious about improving education when they start to be fiercely protective of their teachers.

The one thing that has to be done in schools is called teaching. Administrators ought to be reassigned to teaching or security. Perhaps then their priorities will change.

Popular And Demanding Career Choices For Success In 2014

The question - Which college degree program to choose after passing out higher secondary school is very critical for every student. One should pay special care and attention while looking for a higher degree course program to make one's career prospects bright.

In general, before getting into any higher degree course students have almost no-idea about the job prospects of the degree program that they have chosen. So, it is very important to understand the job and career scope of the degree programs for higher education before getting into the course.

Here in this article, some of the best and popular career options and their future scope in job fields are discussed to help students deciding their dream career.

• Training and Education - This career option is related to all the professions in teaching and educating people. This career group includes teaching in schools, colleges and other training programs such as corporate training programs.
• Tourism and Hospitality Industry - Tourism sector is being popular at very fast rate. Those who loves travelling; tourism is best career path for them. Hotel management and tourism management jobs are quite popular and good paying in this category.
• Media and Communication - Online media sector is also popular these days. If you have good communication skills, you can be a good anchor, journalist, and author/writer in TV and Media industry.
• Construction and Architecture - This field focuses on construction and designing various types of structures such as for buildings, roads, bridges etc. Architect, electrician, interior designer, painter etc. are some of the popular jobs in this category.
• Business Management and supervision - In this career group, job that are related to managing a business organization are included. Some of the popular and well-paying managing jobs are related to business management, human resource managing, sales and marketing etc. These days' online MBA courses are much popular and demanding in this career scope.
• Government Services - If you are willing to work for mankind and your nation honestly, government sector is for you. Various military services, civil services, police services and administration services for state and central government come under this category.
• Information and communication technology - In this category, various jobs related to digital technologies such as software, hardware, networking and computing are included. If you have interest in computer technologies, then IT sector has good scope for your career.
• Engineering and Science - This career perspective deals with working for science and technology projects. Development and research are two important fields of this career.

Health Services - This includes medical science including development and research in health science improvement. Doctor, chemist and pharmacist are good career scope in this category.

How to Improve Writing Fluency

With the inclusion of essays on high-stakes tests such as the SAT® and ACT®, as well as many state standards tests and high-school exit exams, the need to improve writing fluency has recently surfaced as a desired goal. Which approaches to writing fluency work best?

1. Teach students to read a variety of writing prompts. Expose students to different content area and writing domain prompts. For example, using social science, literature, and science content with informational, expository, analytical, and persuasive domains. Teach students to read the writing prompt twice—the first time for understanding and the second time to circle the subject and highlight key words.

2. Give students ample practice in turning writing prompts into effective essay topic sentences. “Thesis Turn-Arounds” can be a productive “opener” to any lesson in any subject area. For example, if the prompt reads “Analyze the causes of the Civil War,” students could begin their theses with “Many causes contributed to the Civil War.”

3. Give students practice in developing quick pre-writes to organize a multi-paragraph writing response. Teach a variety of graphic organizers and review how each is appropriate to different writing prompts.

4. Give students practice in writing introductory paragraphs after pre-writing. Give students practice in writing just one timed body paragraph to address one aspect of the essay after pre-writing.

5. Provide immediate individual feedback to students with brief writers conferences.

6. Use the overhead projector to use critique real student samples. Write along with students and have them critique your writing samples.

7. Teach how to pace various allotted essay times. For example, the SAT® essay is only 25 minutes. Most state tests allot 60 minutes. Brainstorm and allocate times before a full essay writing fluency for the following: analysis of the writing prompt, pre-write, draft, revisions, editing.

8. If a brief reading passage is part of the background for the writing task, teach students to annotate the passage with margin notes as they read.

Teaching Writing to a Reluctant Writer

Like many middle-school-aged boys, my son despised writing assignments when we began homeschooling. Having been forced to do voluminous writing assignments when he was still attending school, his initial reaction when I became his teacher was to protest and argue over every writing assignment I gave him. After much trial and error, I found that the best approach was to give him a lot of latitude in choosing the topics and even what days he would write, at least in the beginning. When months began to pass and his writing skills were still weaker than I thought they should be for someone his age and given his abilities in other academic areas, I decided I had to induce him to practice writing more but also had to make it fun. If I didn't, we were going to have struggles over every sentence that ever reached the paper.

One of my first successful ideas was to let him register at Amazon.com to write reviews. Since he is an avid collector of both books and action figures, he was excited about the opportunity to share his views on which ones were worth the money and which weren't. Especially on the topic of action figures, he would happily write several paragraphs on the details of the paint colors, the articulation of the limbs, etc. Our original agreement was that I would not look at the reviews until they were finished, but he would not submit them until we went over them together to check spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc. Initially, the spelling and punctuation left a lot to be desired, but he was a lot less resistant to learning to fix these when he knew the finished product could be viewed by anyone on-line. He was also eager to get the reviews posted, because he could then read how many other customers found his comments helpful. Every time he read a new book or bought a new action figure became an opportunity for another writing lesson. Enthusiasm is truly a great teacher because, within six months, his writing (and spelling) had improved drastically. Within another few months, I was able to let him post the reviews before I proofread them (though occasionally a spelling or punctuation slipped through).

Another successful idea, since he is more an artist than a writer, was to give him English assignments that involved drawing. One idea, for instance, after we had just returned from a vacation, was to design a brochure for his ideal vacation resort and hotel. His enthusiasm for the drawing totally overcame his reluctance about the writing, and he ended up doing a truly awesome job. In addition, we combined mathematics into the assignment by having him make one page of the brochure a price listing for various services with different combined package rates.

I always suggest to parents who are trying to get younger children to be more proficient in reading that they pick their child's obsession, be it dinosaurs, cars, or princesses, and check out every book in the library on that topic and nothing else until the child becomes more enthusiastic about reading. To learn to enjoy writing as well, a child needs to be writing about something he or she cares about. Find your child's passion and let literacy flow around it!

After Graduation: What Next? Keep your Momentum Going

Record numbers of college students will be graduating by the end of the month.  With all these  new job candidates entering the employment pool, what should these new graduates consider when moving into the next phase of their lives?

In this economy, finding a job right out of college is challenging but there are a few things students can do to start the job search on the right foot. 

Now is the time to be aggressive, and go into commando mode. Don’t put too much time into your resume, they are overrated.  Resumes should be one page and easy to read. Are you spending days writing a cover letter?  People like me almost never read them.  When you get 100’s of resumes daily, yours must stand out.  Use new tools and technology to help with your job search.  Join LinkedIn, start a Facebook page that focuses on your professional persona.

Here are more tips you can adopt.

• Consider moving back in with your parents. Less stress, less financial demands and more time to look for a job.  Plus a daily dose of advice might be a good source of motivation.  Sorry parents..It is a sign of the times.
• If you can’t find a job, try volunteering or an unpaid internship.  This is a great opportunity to hone your skills and make connections in your field of study.
• Network, network, network.  Don't just rely on the Internet...you must meet people in person. As the old adage goes, ‘sometimes it’s more about WHO you know than WHAT you know.’
• Practice your interview skills! – join a group like Toastmasters and fine-tune your presentation skills.
• Research companies you are interested in.  Don't just send out gobs of resumes to every Tom, Dick & Harry.  Refine your search and make sure you are polished when given the opportunity to make a connection.
• Research the person you are meeting with.  Did you go to the same school or have the same hobbies?  This is a great way to start the conversation and make the interviewer like you.  Remember…people hire people they like, and that person may not be the best person on paper.
• Focus on entry level jobs even if they are not in your field.  You need to add business experience to your resume.  You may also have to get your hands dirty.

We have lots of tips and ideas on our momentum musings blog and videos on our site momentumtrans.com.   Happy hunting!